"And... what's the situation?"
"We Eat White Bread Now... It's fine... ?"

Once we've all been transformed into magical jam factory workers living in a sweet smelling 1930s white Britopia, who will The Daily Mail types turn on for their fear porn fix? Apple Sauce labourers? Scrumpers?

On the horizon, like the blush of dawn, I see a bright future, where Blackberries are re-branded as Britberries; where landlords and successful businessmen wear tweed plus fours and gun down berry poachers, as is their right.

Retired Jam Factory workers smile as they wipe sweat from their brows, picking over-sized English apples in their orchard gardens as a new generation of school leavers cycle on down the road

Chorus:
Different colours, different rules
Different classes, different schools
Different colours, different rules
Different genders, different ways of getting screwed

The paperboy passes by at a sensible speed, in cloth cap and high-waisted trousers with braces, gently depositing copies of The Daily Mail on doorsteps dusted with the soft-bright pollen of this eternal English Summer. At the end of the street a woman scrubs blood stains from her WELCOME mat.

Chorus:
Different colours, different rules
Different classes, different schools
Different colours, different rules
Different genders, different ways of getting screwed

We eat white bread now, it’s fine

The air chimes with the scent of freshly baked white bread, the brassy sounds of bicycle bells, C of E bells and the buzz of British bees. We eat white bread now. It's fine.

We eat white bread now, it’s fine

The newspaper headlines are all becalmed and all is right with the Empire. All of the sex perverts have been slain, celebrity sleaze has been lanced, the working class have been inoculated against work shyness, all thanks to the power and might of great English journalism.

No more talk of Muslims or the E.D.L. anymore. For truly, the British Biro is mightier than the unchristian Damascus steel sword of multiculturalism.

We eat white bread now, it’s fine

(We eat white bread now, it’s fine)

We eat white bread now, it’s fine